Friends, typically my wife is the one that posts on our wonderful blog. Tonight I am overwhelmed with various emotions as I struggle to understand the master plan God has for me and my family and I feel the need to make this post. My father, Tracy, just turned 55 and is losing his battle against Leukemia. As I go day by day hoping to catch my dad in a good moment so that we can talk and spend time together I am thankful for a wonderful wife that supports me. I cannot imagine going through this without her. I am also thankful to Ana, my father's wonderful wife. She has done so much for our family and continues to do so through her never-ending care and endless love for my father. THANK YOU to both of you for EVERYTHING!

Stationery Card

Fresh From Heaven Birth Announcement

Announcements for every life event: graduation, wedding & baby.

View the entire collection of cards.

Baby Watch 2013

Well my due date has come and gone! Today was my last doctor's appointment and if I am still prego on Monday I get to go to the hospital for a stress test and ultrasound to see how little V is doing. Depending on the results we will either be induced Tuesday or if things are still looking good, he'll let her cook until Friday. We shall see!

This past week we've been getting as much prepared as can be. I've done some organizing, we've rearranged furniture and taken trips to the D.I. I still have some finishing touches in the nursery, but all in all (aside from the day to day cleaning/upkeep) we are 'ready' to go.

I don't really know what to do with myself in the meantime. I find myself wishing that I just would have kept working for one more week. Being home alone the next few days is going to be strange. What do people do? I must not be very imaginative because I am not inspired to do a single thing except maybe take another nap. LOL.

I suppose I will try and enjoy this time. After all, I suppose I won't get much alone time in the future. It's really so strange to think that for sure by May 10th I will have a child. Mind=Blown!

I really appreciate all of those who have patiently and kindly listened to my fears and struggle these past months. The end is near!

Loves! And wish me luck!

The Future is Here

Throughout our life we are constantly preparing for events/milestones/changes. For 8 years we prepare for our baptism. We can't wait for our 16th birthday to get that driver's license. For 18 years you anticipate walking across that stage in your camp and gown and getting your diploma, and as girls aren't we always wondering about that special someone we will meet to whom we will finally say "I DO!"?

We are conditioned culturally for these milestones. Those that have gone before us as well as every outside influence (movies/magazines/books etc...) prepare us for these changes. We see examples everywhere and from everyone of how these changes are met, which gives us peace and confidence that we, like them, can do it too. And this is all done naturally. With hardly a thought! We prepare and when the time comes we just do it! No muss. No fuss. 

I have never been met with a life experience that has terrified me more than that of being a mother. As a Mormon, becoming a mother and creating an eternal family is in our DNA! We are taught our divine role of motherhood our entire life! Just like learning to drive, graduating from high school, and getting married, motherhood was a concept as natural as breathing.

I know I have been conditioned/prepared as much as anyone, and yet I'm terrified. The hardest part has been how unprepared I was for these thoughts and feelings. They have gotten better, or maybe I've just learned how to feel or think around them rather than engaging in the thoughts/feelings head on. But as I've been promised by my doctor, no one stays pregnant forever. Haha! Today was my original due date. After my first ultrasound it was changed to April 30th. I have no idea when our little woman is making her debut but one thing is certain: No one stays pregnant forever. For sure within the next 14 days I will have a little person in my life and nothing will ever be the same. My time for preparing is over.

Wow. We really are here aren't we?! After 272 days thinking of this experience in the far off future, the future is here. It's now. The time for preparing is over and I will be joining the ranks of motherhood with all of you that have gone before me. I hope I am ready. I hope that those deep parts of what make a woman/a mother/a nurturer will take over and that this transition will be joyful, peaceful, and natural.

My first major change begins Friday. After six years working with these funny and amazing people I will be awaiting the start of my next job. One that I can't half-ass my way through! Haha. Well I guess I can if I want my children to be screwed up...

And I digress...

Prayers welcome. Perhaps one day I look back at these ramblings and think 'Wow, girlfriend needed to take a chill pill!' Let's cross our fingers and hope!

 

Well looky er---don't looky there!

Could pregnancy get any more awkard? Seriously! Your bod does crazy and involuntary things!

I've been 'leaking' for weeks and after getting dressed today I suppose I forgot to put a little pad in...Well I have now lactated a plum sized ring through my shirt. At work of all places. Awesome.

Don't mind me sir. It's just my leaking breastssss.

Kill. Me. Now.

Feelin' It

Last week I was feeling pretty good. Minus the occasionally prego swollen feet and ankles, I was feeling swell. Not much nausea to think of, sleep wasn't as elusive as it has been, no real aches and pains to note. It seemed like I was going to really enjoy these last weeks... then Friday came. I was supposed to take the Young Women to do baptisms so I left work early. On my way home I started feeling some serious pain in my lower back.

By the time I arrived home I felt immobilized. I couldn't function -- all I could think about was pain and how to make it stop. My sciatic nerve was pinched and I couldn't walk. Standing, sitting, laying, praying, kneeling, leaning, bending, stretching, offered absolutely no relief. Luckily, and unluckily, all of our temple recommend holding young ladies were unable to go. It took about 2 hours for the pain to subside and by the end of it I was exhausted and subsequently took an equally long nap.

"Wow! Really? Is this how the last 6 1/2 weeks is going to be?!" I thought, but then reassured myself, "nah, this must be a fluke." Oh how I wish this were true!!! Since Friday I feel like my body is being put through one of those medieval torture mechanisms. There is so much pain in my abdomen it is uncomfortable to sit, walk, stand, and lay. Seriously!?! Last week I wasn't so sure I was ready for the labor/delivery portion of this adventure and was content to postpone said events for as long as I could. Now I am seeing why by the end women are pleading, "Get this outta me!"
 
To those with chronic back pain and major issues your sciatic nerve, you deserve a gold medal, diamonds, and a trip to Disneyland! Seriously! That shiz is painful!