I have learned to NOT trust Bonnie my local nurse at the Intermountain Medical Center.
Dear Bonnie with her soothing voice and comforting tones is a con artist. She assured me on Monday when I called in that the biopsy/ultrasound Dr. S would be performing today on old 'roid was (and I quote) "Even less invasive than getting your blood drawn!" Oh really Bonnie? Have you had this done? I am convinced now that you have not.
I suppose "invasive" to me meant at the most, 3 stabs of the needle: 1 for "numbing" the area, the other 2 for the biopsy. Well 3 would have been a welcome joy! I, my dear friends, was poked and prodded at the very least 8 times: 2 for local anesthesia, 4 stabs on the right side, and 2 more on the left. What the!? I thought this was "non-invasive" Bonnie?
To me, non-invasive means in and out. No lingering and certainly no 'jiggling' of the needle while it is still in my jugular. Apparently not enough fluid was being extracted so Dr. S would literally jiggle her fingers for several seconds over and over and over till she was satisfied. I am convinced they need to give patients blindfolds when this happens.
To date, I am pretty sure I have never wished something to be over more quickly. I hate giving blood for the mere fact that the nurse can NEVER find my vein and thus gets over zealous, stabs me then spends several seconds 'searching' for the vein. Here’s a friendly hint person in the medical field: In and Out. Don't linger longer. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Just get in and get out!
You know that feeling you get after working out your legs or abs after a LOooong absence and how every time you walk up/down stairs or laugh you are reminded of this oh so neglected muscle by throbbing pain/discomfort. Well my friends imagine that feeling every time you laughed, swallowed, sang, or spoke. I hurt.
Nevertheless, Bonnie will not be getting a Christmas card this year.
Dear Bonnie with her soothing voice and comforting tones is a con artist. She assured me on Monday when I called in that the biopsy/ultrasound Dr. S would be performing today on old 'roid was (and I quote) "Even less invasive than getting your blood drawn!" Oh really Bonnie? Have you had this done? I am convinced now that you have not.
I suppose "invasive" to me meant at the most, 3 stabs of the needle: 1 for "numbing" the area, the other 2 for the biopsy. Well 3 would have been a welcome joy! I, my dear friends, was poked and prodded at the very least 8 times: 2 for local anesthesia, 4 stabs on the right side, and 2 more on the left. What the!? I thought this was "non-invasive" Bonnie?
To me, non-invasive means in and out. No lingering and certainly no 'jiggling' of the needle while it is still in my jugular. Apparently not enough fluid was being extracted so Dr. S would literally jiggle her fingers for several seconds over and over and over till she was satisfied. I am convinced they need to give patients blindfolds when this happens.
To date, I am pretty sure I have never wished something to be over more quickly. I hate giving blood for the mere fact that the nurse can NEVER find my vein and thus gets over zealous, stabs me then spends several seconds 'searching' for the vein. Here’s a friendly hint person in the medical field: In and Out. Don't linger longer. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Just get in and get out!
You know that feeling you get after working out your legs or abs after a LOooong absence and how every time you walk up/down stairs or laugh you are reminded of this oh so neglected muscle by throbbing pain/discomfort. Well my friends imagine that feeling every time you laughed, swallowed, sang, or spoke. I hurt.
Nevertheless, Bonnie will not be getting a Christmas card this year.
2 comments:
:( Bonnie and I are in a fight.
You poor thing! I'm sorry!
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